Alright

So as it turns out Josh Green (below) was just an AHL filler and Teemu is back and blah blah. Thank fucking fuck. Still, we're sucking by my standards. Meanwhile the San Jose Farce (supposed to sound like Sharks...) have gotten lucky and proved that winning is only 50% due to talent, and 50% the other team shitting the bed. For some reason the Sharks have had the other team fail to preform, unrelated to any sort of skill on the Sharks part, all but 4 games so far. It's ridiculous. They're not even that good. The Ducks have much better players. So what the fuck?

To answer, I don't know. I think it has something to do with the Sharks always playing the team we played AFTER we play them. So we, win or lose, physically kick their asses, and then the Sharks play some weak and tired team. I'll post some stats later.

This blog isn't dead yet.

It's the middle of Summer so obviously not much Hockey news to report. The Ducks are undergoing some interesting changes, signing guys I have not heard of.

Recently they signed LW Josh Green and I just can't help thinking it's a possible chain-reaction gap-filler in case Teemu leaves (when the fuck will that be settled anyway?).

So yeah this blog may be slow for a while, but to all my loyal readers out there, all -30,000 of you, know that I do not have plans to terminate its existence.

Go Ducks.

How fucking GOD am I?

Every prediction I made for these playoffs was 100% spot on. I am extremely lucky A HOCKEY PREDICTION GOD.

Oh yeah, and congrats to the Red Wings, they really outplayed the Penguins most of the time.

Still, the Penguins kept the last couple games ridiculously exciting, even when both of them seemed in the bag for the Wings.

I'll probably delete this blog soon.

Damn, I am good

Quote From May 6th:

Detroit over Dallas in 6 games

Pittsburgh over Philadelphia in 5 games

I really didn't expect to be so right. In reading that post just now I was like "uh WUHHHHH??!?" I looked at my prediction and had to recheck the actual number of games played because it was hard to believe I was really that awesome, but I am after all.

New prediction:

Detroit over Pittsburgh in 6 games.

I hate to make that prediction because I'm pulling for the Penguins and I have a crazy feeling that this will go to 7 games, but I can't help feeling like the Penguins are still big underdogs in this one.

Let's hope I'm right/wrong.

Wow

Stars = fucked.

Flyers = fucked.

Red Wings and Pen-Wings should begin scheduling games.

Can the Stars still take the series?

No.

In Rounds 1 and 2, the Stars were considered the underdog, playing one notable cup contender and one piece of shit team from central California. And they overcame their underdoggetry by taking the first two games, which were away games. Then they came back and took one of their two home games.

They couldn't do that against the Red Wings. The Stars relied on those first two games to take the series (Don't believe me? Subtract those wins from the Stars and give them to the other team - who wins the series?) and now they're unable to do so against an even better team. That means that they're going to have a tougher time at away games as well as a tougher time at home.

Count the Stars out for now, and I'll have a Pens/Flyers update in a bit.

Round 3 Predictions

I don't expect to be as accurate as I was in predicting the Sharks demise, but I'll give it a go.

Detroit over Dallas in 6 games

Pittsburgh over Philadelphia in 5 games

Sharks will cry at home because they know that given 130 minutes of hockey they can only score 1 goal on a team ranked 3 places lower than them

Not sure how confident I am in the first two of those, both of the teams I chose to lose have been surprisingly good in the playoffs so far. But I'm pretty sure about the last thing. And despite the first prediction, I think I'll be rooting for Dallas (not sure yet). Really, I'm counting on the Ducks storming back in to one of the games and declaring themselves Champions, kind of the way Napoleon crowned himself because no one else was worthy. By the way, Napoleon: HUGE Kings fan. That's why he had to be locked away.

OWNED!!!

The Stars win in Quadruple Overtime!!!! HOORAHHH!!!

Fuck the Sharks, I am so happy right now. It's like Jesus has come back, except this involves non-mythological characters. Yeehaw.

Now, I don't know who I'll be rooting for anymore. Don't really care for the Red Wings, but I'm pretty sure they'll beat Dallas. I'm also pretty sure Pittsburgh will beat Philadelphia. But I have gained a lot of respect for Marty Turco over the course of the Ducks' and Sharks' series so it'll be hard to root against him.

We'll see.

Ack!

If the Sharks come back and win this bullshit, I'm going to punch a hole in the wall.

That said, they probably won't win the series. The Ducks were in this same 3 - 2 situation in the series, went to Dallas for Game 6, and lost. And we know the Ducks are better than the Sharks, so the Sharks would have to really get lucky to move to Game 7.

Dallas' inability to win at home is the only reason this series even went past Game 4.

And if Dallas wins tomorrow, I get to be the King of the World (a position previously held by Leonardo DiCaprio) because way back around Game 1 or so, I said "expect this to end in 6, in Dallas". Bam, bitches.

"Don't count the Sharks out yet!"

That's what everyone said after Game 2 when the Sharks went down in the series 2 - 0. Guess who said that you could consider the series over? I did. That's right, bitches. I said that the Sharks could forget thinking about winning. And now Game 3 goes to the Stars in overtime. Still don't think the Sharks are done? They've been KOed and the count is up to 7. Soon, the Stars will raise their arm in victory.

Fuck the Sharks, and all their retardedly optimistic fans. You guys didn't actually think you were better than the Ducks, did you? Ha. And don't give me that "But we made it farther than the Ducks!" bullshit. You guys didn't have to play the Stars in the first round, otherwise you wouldn't have. You played a much easier team than the Ducks played and still barely squeaked by. Now you're playing the team that the Ducks played, and (as poorly as the Ducks played) looking even worse. Go choke on air.

Sharks/Stars Game 2 Postgame

Wow. The Sharks suck. Good for me, bad for them.

After being ridiculed by my Shark-fan roommates in the first series for losing to Dallas, this win really solidifies a big "FUCK YOU" which I can then use to shove down their throats.

The Stars won this one because they do what the Ducks can't - keep playing confidently after the other team scores. The Ducks would fall apart whenever they got scored on, but Dallas has been basically shrugging off any goals and kept their heads up.

The Sharks somehow think their end-of-the-year momentum is somehow going to carry them through the playoffs, without actually having to work hard, and Dallas is tossing them around like small children because of this fact.

Now the Sharks have two games on the road, where they're really good. Ironically, this is what is killing them. They blow chunks at home. A .500 record at home is going to allow a good team (ie the Dallas Stars) to come in and kick their asses. Having the Home Ice Advantage that comes with being the #2 seed isn't going to help when you can't win shit at home.

The Stars go up 2 - 0 in the series, and you can already put this series in the books, even if the Sharks take a win in Dallas. They can say goodnight.

Sharks vs Stars - Game 2

No doubt this game will probably be a harder win for the Stars than Game 1 was. The Sharks are going to make some changes to their game to avoid looking like the Teal Shit they looked like on Game 1.

The Sharks are going to try to come out with more movement on the Power Play. If the Stars let them move the puck around, it's going to get ugly, so they need to focus on disrupting the Sharks passing lanes more than shot blocking... at the same time they need to be ready to collapse in case the Sharks try to crash the net.

Anyway, looks to be a good one, as is the Penguins/Rangers game that's on right now. Go Stars.

Eat it!

The Stars kept the pressure on in overtime and came away with teal blood on their hands. Way to go! The Sharks got some unlucky breaks in that game but I still felt that Dallas outplayed them.

Stars take Game 1. Good for them. They play like that and they won't lose the series to the Teal Pussies. I expect this one to end in 6, in Dallas. Down with the Sharks.

Sharks vs Stars - Game 1

The day is here. Hopefully the Stars don't bitch out as soon as they play a team that's not my favorite.

The Ducks failed both because of under-performing and because Dallas looked great. Turco seemed like a brick wall in that goal sometimes, and the whole team knew how to capitalize off of momentum.

If both teams played how they played in the first playoff series, the Sharks won't have a chance. The Sharks chose to play with fire (HA!) when playing the Flames, and they almost got burned (HA!). If Dallas keeps up their pace that they had when playing the Ducks, you can expect to see this series end in 5 or 6 games.

Kill the Sharks!

"Keep it in California"

Well I slept through Biology for the second time in a row, that makes 6 or 7 times this semester (damn 10 AM classes) so I didn't get to work my magic.

So both of my favorite bloggers, Earl Sleek and Spade-in-Victorhell have turned their support to the Teal Emo kids up in San Jose, so the NHL can "keep the cup in California".

What's this bullshit? I mean, did the US turn to our rivals, Soviet Russia, during the Vietnam War and say "Hey, I know I hate you and you suck and Thornton is a bitch, but how about we team up and support each other on this quest to conquer Vietnam?" No!!! Partly because we were indirectly fighting Russia. Well guess what? We're still in the playoffs, as long as we indirectly fight the Sharks!!

The only reason that damn cup is going to be in California is because the DUCKS won it. And the Sharks are certainly not going to be the ones to pry it from our hot, cooked, delicious thighs.

Plus, did you ever wonder why that cheating thing for Sega was called "Game Shark"? It's named after the fact that the Sharks hockey team is a bunch of whining cheaters.

If it ain't in Anaheim, it ain't in California.

Because I was dared to.

C'mon, brokeyard. I dare you to start a blog called "We Bleed Teal Blood".

I created this because Earl Sleek of The Battle of California jokingly dared me to. Little did he know, I don't joke around. So this will chronicle how much utter contempt I have for the San Jose Sharks team, and to make fun of the fact that they have two separate blogs on Blogger in particular that are creatively called "Bleed Teal" and "We Bleed Teal".

I have a biology test tomorrow, I think, and my teacher is a devout Sharks fan. I'm thinking of inserting answers here and there that will just say "Quack" and any time it asks a question about evolution, the answer is going to be "Ducks" (for example, "which is the most completely AWESOME animal and WAY better than a Shark?")

So as disappointed as I am in the Ducks losing to the Dallas Stars in the first round, the Stars will be getting my support in the second round, just because I hate our cross-state rivals way up there in Whocaresville.

Go Ducks, and for a little while, go Stars. If the Sharks bleed teal, I hope they're drained of color at the end of this series.