Alright

So as it turns out Josh Green (below) was just an AHL filler and Teemu is back and blah blah. Thank fucking fuck. Still, we're sucking by my standards. Meanwhile the San Jose Farce (supposed to sound like Sharks...) have gotten lucky and proved that winning is only 50% due to talent, and 50% the other team shitting the bed. For some reason the Sharks have had the other team fail to preform, unrelated to any sort of skill on the Sharks part, all but 4 games so far. It's ridiculous. They're not even that good. The Ducks have much better players. So what the fuck?

To answer, I don't know. I think it has something to do with the Sharks always playing the team we played AFTER we play them. So we, win or lose, physically kick their asses, and then the Sharks play some weak and tired team. I'll post some stats later.

This blog isn't dead yet.

It's the middle of Summer so obviously not much Hockey news to report. The Ducks are undergoing some interesting changes, signing guys I have not heard of.

Recently they signed LW Josh Green and I just can't help thinking it's a possible chain-reaction gap-filler in case Teemu leaves (when the fuck will that be settled anyway?).

So yeah this blog may be slow for a while, but to all my loyal readers out there, all -30,000 of you, know that I do not have plans to terminate its existence.

Go Ducks.

Round 3 Predictions

I don't expect to be as accurate as I was in predicting the Sharks demise, but I'll give it a go.

Detroit over Dallas in 6 games

Pittsburgh over Philadelphia in 5 games

Sharks will cry at home because they know that given 130 minutes of hockey they can only score 1 goal on a team ranked 3 places lower than them

Not sure how confident I am in the first two of those, both of the teams I chose to lose have been surprisingly good in the playoffs so far. But I'm pretty sure about the last thing. And despite the first prediction, I think I'll be rooting for Dallas (not sure yet). Really, I'm counting on the Ducks storming back in to one of the games and declaring themselves Champions, kind of the way Napoleon crowned himself because no one else was worthy. By the way, Napoleon: HUGE Kings fan. That's why he had to be locked away.

OWNED!!!

The Stars win in Quadruple Overtime!!!! HOORAHHH!!!

Fuck the Sharks, I am so happy right now. It's like Jesus has come back, except this involves non-mythological characters. Yeehaw.

Now, I don't know who I'll be rooting for anymore. Don't really care for the Red Wings, but I'm pretty sure they'll beat Dallas. I'm also pretty sure Pittsburgh will beat Philadelphia. But I have gained a lot of respect for Marty Turco over the course of the Ducks' and Sharks' series so it'll be hard to root against him.

We'll see.

Ack!

If the Sharks come back and win this bullshit, I'm going to punch a hole in the wall.

That said, they probably won't win the series. The Ducks were in this same 3 - 2 situation in the series, went to Dallas for Game 6, and lost. And we know the Ducks are better than the Sharks, so the Sharks would have to really get lucky to move to Game 7.

Dallas' inability to win at home is the only reason this series even went past Game 4.

And if Dallas wins tomorrow, I get to be the King of the World (a position previously held by Leonardo DiCaprio) because way back around Game 1 or so, I said "expect this to end in 6, in Dallas". Bam, bitches.

"Don't count the Sharks out yet!"

That's what everyone said after Game 2 when the Sharks went down in the series 2 - 0. Guess who said that you could consider the series over? I did. That's right, bitches. I said that the Sharks could forget thinking about winning. And now Game 3 goes to the Stars in overtime. Still don't think the Sharks are done? They've been KOed and the count is up to 7. Soon, the Stars will raise their arm in victory.

Fuck the Sharks, and all their retardedly optimistic fans. You guys didn't actually think you were better than the Ducks, did you? Ha. And don't give me that "But we made it farther than the Ducks!" bullshit. You guys didn't have to play the Stars in the first round, otherwise you wouldn't have. You played a much easier team than the Ducks played and still barely squeaked by. Now you're playing the team that the Ducks played, and (as poorly as the Ducks played) looking even worse. Go choke on air.

Sharks vs Stars - Game 1

The day is here. Hopefully the Stars don't bitch out as soon as they play a team that's not my favorite.

The Ducks failed both because of under-performing and because Dallas looked great. Turco seemed like a brick wall in that goal sometimes, and the whole team knew how to capitalize off of momentum.

If both teams played how they played in the first playoff series, the Sharks won't have a chance. The Sharks chose to play with fire (HA!) when playing the Flames, and they almost got burned (HA!). If Dallas keeps up their pace that they had when playing the Ducks, you can expect to see this series end in 5 or 6 games.

Kill the Sharks!

"Keep it in California"

Well I slept through Biology for the second time in a row, that makes 6 or 7 times this semester (damn 10 AM classes) so I didn't get to work my magic.

So both of my favorite bloggers, Earl Sleek and Spade-in-Victorhell have turned their support to the Teal Emo kids up in San Jose, so the NHL can "keep the cup in California".

What's this bullshit? I mean, did the US turn to our rivals, Soviet Russia, during the Vietnam War and say "Hey, I know I hate you and you suck and Thornton is a bitch, but how about we team up and support each other on this quest to conquer Vietnam?" No!!! Partly because we were indirectly fighting Russia. Well guess what? We're still in the playoffs, as long as we indirectly fight the Sharks!!

The only reason that damn cup is going to be in California is because the DUCKS won it. And the Sharks are certainly not going to be the ones to pry it from our hot, cooked, delicious thighs.

Plus, did you ever wonder why that cheating thing for Sega was called "Game Shark"? It's named after the fact that the Sharks hockey team is a bunch of whining cheaters.

If it ain't in Anaheim, it ain't in California.

Because I was dared to.

C'mon, brokeyard. I dare you to start a blog called "We Bleed Teal Blood".

I created this because Earl Sleek of The Battle of California jokingly dared me to. Little did he know, I don't joke around. So this will chronicle how much utter contempt I have for the San Jose Sharks team, and to make fun of the fact that they have two separate blogs on Blogger in particular that are creatively called "Bleed Teal" and "We Bleed Teal".

I have a biology test tomorrow, I think, and my teacher is a devout Sharks fan. I'm thinking of inserting answers here and there that will just say "Quack" and any time it asks a question about evolution, the answer is going to be "Ducks" (for example, "which is the most completely AWESOME animal and WAY better than a Shark?")

So as disappointed as I am in the Ducks losing to the Dallas Stars in the first round, the Stars will be getting my support in the second round, just because I hate our cross-state rivals way up there in Whocaresville.

Go Ducks, and for a little while, go Stars. If the Sharks bleed teal, I hope they're drained of color at the end of this series.